Issue 193 – Wonder Woman
Anthony: Hello and welcome to Capes on the Couch, where comics get counseling. I’m Anthony Sytko.
Doc Issues: And I’m Dr. Issues.
Anthony: This is issue number 193. And we will be talking about the goddess of love and war and spangly bracelets. Diana of Themyscira, Diana Prince, Wonder Woman, known by many names. But this is the first regular episode since we’ve returned from hiatus.
I know we technically had the two creator. Episodes. So this is the first regular one. And it’s good to be quote unquote, officially back. It feels like a hot minute.
Doc Issues: Yeah, definitely. Definitely. Lots of lots of stuff in between lots of things that I know Anthony and I have been personally dealing with families, work, life in general.
Anthony: Yeah. Yeah. It never stops much as we would want it to, or maybe not want it to. Right.
Doc Issues: Right. Be careful how you take that.
Anthony: Yeah. Yeah. There’s a lot going on, but we are here and I wanted to get this out before Wonder Woman day, which is, I believe the 21st, October 21st, every year, because that’s the day she was created.
So we’re getting that out just after Wonder Woman day. So just after her 82nd birthday. So happy birthday, Diana. Real quick also before we get started, since we didn’t mention this during either of the first two creator episodes, largely because we didn’t know exactly when we’re going to be doing a panel at Derpicon in New Brunswick, New Jersey, and it’s going to be Saturday, October 26th.
And we will be talking about Discord from My Little Pony, Friendship is Magic. A wonderful and fascinating character. Love his character evolution over the course of the series, going from outright villain to mischievous anti hero. There’s a lot of good stuff there. So, please, if you haven’t already, go online and register for the tickets, derpycon.com. And It’s, it’s in New Brunswick. As I said, the convention itself is Friday through Sunday. I think the 25th through the 27th, our panel is the 26th. It’s run by the same folks that did shenanigans. So I feel like that was an in that we definitely helped us get in there. And just on a, on a bit of like inside baseball thing at the beginning of the year.
I created my, my sort of vision board and the goals that I wanted to lay out for 2024. And one of them was to do three convention panels in 2024 for the podcast. And this is going to be number three, technically it’s four for me, because if, if I’m including the Jersey city black comic con, but for the podcast itself as a whole, me and doc, we This is going to be number three.
So manifesting, I spoke it and wrote it into existence. It has stayed on my whiteboard in the dining room and you know, haven’t been able to accomplish everything I put on that list, but three con panels for the year is, is up there. So whether or not I get the draft OGN that I’ve been working on and doc and I, whether or not we get that out in any kind of written format before the end of the year remains to be seen, but Hey, we still got you know, Month and a half, two and two and a half months left for the end of the year.
So by right, like the Dickens, maybe it’ll happen, but in any case enough beating around the bush. Let us get right into the background.
So it’s Wonder Woman. I’m not going to get into too many details. Everybody knows Wonder Woman, but Wonder Woman, created by William Moulton Marston and Harry G.
Peter in All Star Comics, number 8, October 21st, 1942. As you said this episode is being released right after her 82nd birthday. One of the most wholesome characters in comics, created by one of the kinkiest people of his era, a polyamorous with a bondage kink and a fetish for powerful women. So, her original origin, as it was described way back when, Born out of clay, sculpted by Queen Hippolyta, and breathed into life on Paradise Island, Diana is an Amazonian princess with powers bestowed upon her by Greek gods.
She was introduced by winning the right to escort Steve Trevor, a lost Air Force pilot, who had crashed on Paradise Island. Back to the world of men, she stays in America and creates the identity of Diana Prince after paying an army nurse who wanted to elope with her boyfriend to South America that she just happened to look exactly like.
Hashtag! Because comics! She joins the Justice Society of America as the secretary, because that’s not sexist at all. Character goes through a bit of an evolution in the 1960s. It starts up with more focus on her Greek heritage and ends with her losing her powers and learning Kung Fu from a master named I Ching.
So you’ve got sexism, you’ve got racism. You’ve got it all. Yay. In 1987, post Crisis on Infinite Earths, George Paris revamps the character and reboots her as an ambassador from Themyscira who comes into Patriarch’s world to bring us peace. She gets another new origin in New 52 in 2011 where she is a demigoddess and the daughter of Hippolyta and Zeus, and that gets undone in DC Rebirth in 2016.
As I said, we’re really not going to get into individual stories here for Diana because it’s Wonder Woman. Frankly, she is part of DC’s trinity. There’s Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman. You know who they are, you don’t really need us to tell you what goes on, who Diana is. Her characterization has evolved and changed over the decades.
Some of it is depending on the writer. Some of it is depending on the need for the story, except for her focus on love and compassion that has remained consistent over 82 years. And so when we get into the issues, the theme is love is wonderful, except when it hurts. Which is all the time. Now, this episode was picked by our Patreon Ruby back when the presidents were still a thing.
So Ruby really just had the first issue that she wanted to talk about. She said most Wonder Woman stories are focused either on her standing for what she believes in, or she can have love. Why can’t she be a total badass feminine icon and be in a loving, healthy relationship? So let’s listen to two dudes talk about what women, how women can have it all.
Doc Issues: Oh boy. So I’m going to start off that caveat with this caveat. It’s a false dichotomy. And then I’m going to add a third caveat to say. I put Wonder Woman similarly in the realm of Captain America and Superman where I want to make it clear, I’m not trying to give formal psychiatric diagnoses here. I do think that this is a great character to talk about, so that’s how I’m approaching this.
So, you can send me plenty of hate mail in lots of different ways, but you don’t have to send it to me about that. Anyway, to answer this first part, and get back to my idea that it’s a false dichotomy, I think this is something that I try not to automatically lay at the feet of the writers, and I don’t do this for most characters, but I think that’s just to simplify how you decide to write a story arc about someone that was labeled as OP, so I get it, but there is some truth to it, and I think that’s where we can Dive in a little bit.
Not everyone wants a person to be exactly on the same wavelength all of the time. We want to have some variety. We want to have some mystery, some intrigue. We want to get to know a person. We like that part of developing relationships.
Now, if you have Any sense of authority, if you have any sense of responsibility, and we’ll get into those things a little bit later, then you know that you’ve already cast your net a bit more selectively than
other people have.
And it works both ways. You have probably honed your mind to only look for certain people in certain categories so that you can interact as not to sound too utilitarian about it, but as efficiently as you can, you want to have the conversations. You don’t want to beat around the bush about how people feel about certain things.
You want to know it right away. You want to just really get to the, to the meat of the, of the relationship. Yep. Without the I don’t want to say window dressing because it is important and, and all of it is important when it comes to relationships, but I’m going to go on a bit of a tangent here too late.
If you’ve ever seen the show news radio, I don’t even remember the characters, but you could probably find the clip on YouTube. Two of them are type A go getter, kind of abrasive personalities, and they talk about how they can’t really find anyone suitable to date. So then they come up with the idea, well, maybe we can make it work with each other.
And they said, well, yeah, based on what we do, we probably can. And so they’re already starting to plan things like Weddings where they would live, how many children, and it sounds like, almost like auctioneering in terms of how they’re trying to come up with bargains with each other, and in the span of maybe two minutes, they basically come to an impasse and say, Yeah, I guess that’s that.
Well, it was good talking to you. And they just go their separate ways. And obviously, I’m just saying it so rotely, but it does come off incredibly funny because you realize they actually are doing the things that we all do, but they were doing it not just in hyperspeed, but without any of the actual emotion that you’re supposed to attach to it.
So that’s one of the biggest risks when you have someone who has incredible motivations, convictions, and other things in their life, That are truly the driving forces and definitely have a motion behind them. But then to translate that to other people that either don’t have the same interests and goals, or don’t necessarily have the same level of intensity for whatever goals they have, those are the two areas that become difficult to navigate.
Notice how I keep giving all these qualifiers. It’s because I don’t want to make it sound impossible. It’s not. And these things can work out amazingly. But. It does mean that that level of disconnect has to ironically be connected way, way more, how do I put it, more intricately than you would expect.
Because you don’t want the person that is more intense to just overpower everything and it’s whatever they say goes, but you also don’t want B. Person to completely change themselves in some fictional fashion that they eliminate the major strengths that they brought in the first place.
Anthony: It’s funny. I’m just going to reference real fast that you were talking about news radio because just the other day I watched the dark side of comedy vice special about Phil Hartman. And I was like, man, he was so frigging funny in everything. Hi, I’m Troy McClure. Yeah,
I, I absolutely agree with you with your, your statement at the beginning. It is a false dichotomy. And I think that we as a society need to do a better job of not putting so many aspects of our fundamental personalities into binaries and realizing that if you’re If you choose to be focused on your career, if you choose to be focused on your family, if you choose to be focused on yourself, none of these are inherently bad and it is not, oh, well, you can do this or that.
Time is zero sum, but your, your attention and your perception is not, and love is not zero sum. Your concern and your attention to others is Is not zero sum. And I think the sooner we collectively stop with this mindset of if you’re focusing on this or whatever that you must necessarily not care, or you’re disregarding other aspects of your life, the sooner we can discard that line of thought, I think the better off we’re all going to be.
And I know that’s pie in the sky thinking that’s the eternal optimist in me. I think it, it does us a disservice. When we examine ourselves, when we examine our relationships with each other to, to assume that just because, we want to, you know, spend some time focusing on a relationship you’re ignoring other parts of your life.
You’re going to go through waves . You’re going to go through phases where something is going to be maybe, you know, just going to take a little higher priority. And then when it comes back, as you’re creating this, this new Gestalt.
version of yourself that you are always evolving. You’re always changing and growing. It’s, it’s not a binary. It’s not at the expense of any other part. It, it enhances and continues to expand and expound upon who you already were. And so I do think that yes, there has been this binary mindset when writing Diana, but there shouldn’t be, just as there shouldn’t be that binary focus when you’re talking about any.
Any one of us, any real people. So excellent question, Ruby. I love the thought process. And I think that that ties very well into the next topic, the next issue that we’re going to discuss, which is overpowering empathy and doc, I know you and I were talking a little bit on, on the pre roll about empathy and the notion of people being an empath and such, but it’s a little different with Diana.
Doc Issues: Yeah, and this is built in and I appreciate that it’s built in. So this goes out to many of the people out there that say they’re an empath. And I appreciate that. I’m not challenging that I, I validate that definitely there are lots of people in the world who have the ability to experience empathy and.
Some more so than others. I think that’s all absolutely correct. Having said that, I do become worried that the term is used so much that we lose sight of what it means in the first place. If you understand that a sad person is going to act and talk a certain way, and do you recognize that you sometimes act and talk that similar way?
That’s wonderful. That can be a form of empathy. That’s not what I’m talking about. What I’m referencing right now is the idea. We we’ve used the term so many times to say you put yourself in someone’s shoes. How many of you actually visualize that? How many of you actually, when someone says. They had a bad day and then they described their day.
How many of you actually close your eyes, say to yourself, okay, if I were in this person’s situation, how would I feel? And therefore, based on how, how I felt, how would I potentially act? You may be correct or incorrect. But the fact that you take the time to do that, that level of recognition, introspection, and then reflecting it with the person that you’re talking to, that is the level of empathy that we’re dealing with.
And I know I’m going a little off because it’s not just the comics with this. I think at times it was shown in the Justice Unlimited, Justice League and Justice League Unlimited animated series. I think that it was shown in, honestly, the DC Universe first Wonder Woman movie. I think they pointed out this isn’t just a person who wants to help.
It’s a person who actually recognizes that. Humanity is going through pain, and if nothing is done, then she suffers along with them. That is pretty darn heady,
and That can really change someone’s motivations in life or forget even motivations, just how a person decides what their priorities are. And it ties into the third one, which we’ll get into as well.
So what this means is on one hand, people usually recognize you as someone that they can confide in because they think that you’re going to respect and dignify what they talk about. So it can be incredibly useful. It can be reassuring for a person. It can allow for a greater development of trust, which I think is also a significant part of Wonder Woman’s lore.
And all of those things are wonderful. No pun intended. So doc, why is this an issue? Well, two reasons. First, the person that now trusts you, and this may be a little heavy for some people that haven’t considered this, and I’m about to. If you detect that your therapist, as an example, is able to demonstrate empathy when you talk to them, that does not make them any more your friend than a therapist who is more stoic and doesn’t show as much emotion.
I’m not even talking whether or not they are demonstrative in emotion, but they don’t automatically connect empathically, but they acknowledge what you’re saying. And therefore, there can be a change in the dynamics of relationships. I gave the therapist as an example for selfish reasons, but that can be true for friends, that can be true for family, co workers, bosses, anybody.
They take on a feel that is potentially much closer than even the person experiencing it notices. And therefore, there can be a disconnect, ironically, ironically. What you’re experiencing and what the person that is listening to you is experiencing for them. This is something that, you know, for some people, quote unquote, comes naturally, or it may have been learned either way they’re going through their regular day, not really thinking as much about how deep this is going while You feel like they are automatically becoming your best friend.
And I’m not implying that that’s wrong. And if you do develop close relationships with people, Hey, the world needs more of that, but at the same time, I think it also needs to be explored and better understood so that there’s no miscommunications or heaven forbid, you know, worst case scenarios, like stalking and stuff.
So that’s, that’s one side now for the person that often experiences the, the, the overwhelming empathy itself. I mean, that’s. That’s that’s draining the gas tank. That’s that’s the idea that sometimes you allow and this is the stereotype that we think of you allow the connection of the emotion to actually become the emotion.
You now are not just trying to put yourself in someone else’s shoes. You’re basically getting to the level of. My goodness, if this person is talking about something where they didn’t even want to live anymore, now you don’t want to live because you think this is absolutely as horrible and the worst thing that could exist and therefore everything is, is lost.
And I’m giving that as an example, but yes, you can get into that emotional mindset. And if that’s the case, that’s not helpful for anybody. If it’s the positive too, because I can see someone saying like, well, yeah, but if the person is feeling great and everything, well, yes, true. But heaven forbid the person themselves, they’re doing great.
You’re actually doing something where it would probably be better for you to acknowledge the reality that things aren’t as rosy as you want them to be. But because you just had this conversation, you tried to carry that with someone else, and they were trying to point out to you a negative situation and you’re bringing the wrong vibe.
And now you’ve made a situation more difficult for yourself when it didn’t have to be. So I’m saying that empathy is a wonderful, wonderful trait. It is one that needs to be mindful of and one that needs to be managed the same way any other emotional and mental state needs to be managed.
Anthony: Emotional vampirism.
Essentially, to your point, as you were describing, you take on the emotional traits of whatever person you’re around. That that’s something I’ve, I’ve personally experienced. And I’ve luckily moved past it, but I was. At a period of my life where I was searching for an identity. I was flailing around a lot and I wasn’t entirely certain of who I was, what I was, where I wanted to go, what I wanted to do with my life.
And in so doing, I had some relationships and some, some friendships where I would essentially take on the role. Along with them. And then even after they left, I would still carry that with me. And it began to affect some of my, my personal relationships, my longstanding ones, family, close friends, et cetera.
And it took a while to bleed that dry, so to speak, where it no longer affected me in that way. You know, now I’m at a point where if I’m around someone like that, If I’m around somebody who’s, who’s having a strong emotional response, whatever it is, I will do my level best to be there for that person and assist them through whatever it is that they’re going through.
But I’m no longer going to take that on and carry that burden as though it were mine, because frankly, I just have too much of my own stuff to deal with. But it also, it also comes from a place of just emotional and mental maturity and recognizing that. That’s not my responsibility. That’s not my job.
I will say with the exception, and I think, and I, I feel like this is kind of common for a lot of people. If I’m around somebody that’s really genuinely happy, they’re going to make me happier. And so even after they’re gone, I’m in a good mood. It’s when the people are really sad or really angry. If you’re still feeling that way after interacting with those people, you know, it happens once.
I mean, it happens to the best of us, right? Somebody’s in a really bad mood, they’re really angry, or they’re really sad, whatever like that, and, and you’re dealing with them, and they leave, or you leave, and you’re still really angry, or you’re still really sad, it happens. It’s when it happens over, and over, and over, and over again, and it’s a recurring thing that this person, is continually in this state of heavy emotion and you continue to carry that on well past that point.
That’s when you need to re examine the relationship. And I’ve had to cut people out because I got tired of trying to either support them through their heavy emotional needs or having their emotions affect me to that extent. And it’s not an easy thing to do. It’s not an thing to re examine relationships in that light.
You have to do it for your own sake and for your own mental well being because at the end of the day, they’re living their life and you’re living yours because they’re not reciprocating with you. If you come in and you’re super jazzed, they’re not going to care. That’s not going to elevate them. Or in many cases, if you come into the meeting, if you come into, you know, hang out with them, whatever like that, and you’re sad or you’re really angry about something, they’re not going to turn and try and elevate you.
They’re going to. Continue to suck you down with them. And that’s not fair to either of you, but certainly not to you, collective general you. So that notion of, of overpowering empathy and that constant. Feeling what everyone else is feeling around you and taking on that responsibility is is superhuman.
And there’s a reason why Diana can handle it and the rest of us struggle. And I think that perfectly segues into the third issue, which is radical responsibility. To continue that path and discussion of taking on so much burden for others around you, not just yourself and your immediate family. Diana really carries the weight of the world.
Doc Issues: Yeah. And for the sake of comics, that’s the way it’s supposed to be. And I’m not looking to challenge that because characters like that really elevate the medium, in my opinion. So I don’t necessarily view that part as a negative. So I’m going to bring it to humanity. Shocker. All right. Please understand what I’m about to say.
This might be the most, the, the, the most, Wild and out there conspiracy theory that I have. Okay. I’m going to say it though, because I want to get it on record. Okay. Everybody ready? Ready?
You don’t control everything in the world.
I swear. I don’t, I don’t. It’s it may come as a shock to some of you, but you really don’t.
You really don’t. Now, why am I laying the sarcasm on so thick? Because. There are certain moments, for many, I would dare say most, and if I’m really bold I’ll say all, moments in our lives where we think that that is magically true. When someone you love is going through a significant challenge, And you want to be there for them.
And let’s say it’s a child. Let’s say it’s your child. You may actually think that everything that you do is the most important thing in their life, and therefore, You have to drop everything, do that immediately, and if you come close to messing anything up, then you have done the opposite. You’ve destroyed their world, and you are now the ultimate villain.
If you have something that’s due for your job, you may think, and don’t get me wrong, I’m in healthcare, so, so believe me, I’m not trying to downplay when it’s important, okay? I, I recognize this, but let’s broaden it out a bit. You may think that, in that split second, whatever you do is going to determine the fate of the world.
of everyone that you know for that organization. Now, if you’re a CEO, okay, congratulations, but even then, even then, don’t tell me that because you made a decision that’s going to be put in policy for the organization and the company is going to roll it out within the next day and all that stuff that you thought to yourself, wow, that means that I just impacted the janitor in ways that he doesn’t even know.
You didn’t think that. You really didn’t. So, what am I getting at with all of this? It implies that while I appreciate the idea of interconnectivity of society and human interaction, while I appreciate the sense of self worth that you may have, From knowing that your actions do impact those around you.
That’s all true. But the myth that any one thing that you do is going to always impact everyone around you in a way that’s so complete that any other choice is at the detriment of everyone else. And therefore you are not just the most important person in the room, but that. If something goes wrong, and here’s the twist.
If something goes wrong, you are now not just the savior. You are also the most evil person because you have doomed us all. You place an incredible amount of blame for yourself. And here’s the, here’s the part that I’ve noticed people that do this usually aren’t as. Narcissistic as you think. They don’t do it because they want praise.
They don’t do it because they want more power. They, they usually are doing it because they think if anybody else does it, then they have somehow become weaker. And they somehow, if they don’t take responsibility for when something goes wrong, then it means that they are automatically Making someone else the scapegoat and making them feel worse.
And they don’t want to put that on anybody else. So just to clarify, in case anybody was wondering, there are a few instances where, yes, you do have that level of responsibility. If you’re in the trauma bay and people have been stabbed, shot, and everything else, and they’re bleeding out, yes, the decisions you make are going to determine that person’s life.
Okay, I’m not denying that. If you are a pilot, yes, the decisions you make are Going to determine the fate of you and everyone else that you are piloting. Same thing. If you’re driving a bus, same thing. If you’re a captain of a, of a ship. Yes. I recognize that if you are a soldier, if you are part of the military, I am not discrediting the realities of life where that is true.
I’m not denying it, but once again, I’m able to put those boundaries. That doesn’t mean you have to apply it to every other section of your life. So for all of those people that do those types of services, bless you. Thank you. You are underappreciated. You are undervalued. And I really do think that the world should be kissing your feet.
I’m not denying that, but do not put that burden on yourself in every other environment. And once again, not to sound, it’s always true, but I know a lot of you, if you’re listening to this, you know what I’m talking about. Please, please keep those boundaries. That way, when the times count, you leave it there and you don’t have to take it everywhere with you for the rest of your life and drain your battery constantly.
Anthony: Enough said there. I’m not going to argue or add to that at all. So that being said we’re going to take a little break. We’re going to plug some shows and when we get back, we’ll get into treatment. Stick around.
And we’re back. So starting with treatment in universe,
in universe treatment for Diana. What does that look like?
Doc Issues: So I think that there have been moments where Diana has shown what therapy can look like in the way that she interacts sometimes with characters that are vulnerable or pretend not to be, and then she finds out their vulnerability with the lasso. Sometimes it’s done for comedic effect, et cetera, et cetera.
I have a strange idea, unique idea. We know how powerful the lasso is. I know that in theory it’s not the type of thing that you’re supposed to break, rip, bend, or anything like that. And I appreciate how true Diana is to herself, but
this, this is going to sound a little weird. I like the idea, not just her interactions with people, because I think those are just fine.
I like the idea that if it were possible, just to take a small amount and basically make it a bracelet.
I would like the idea that instead of it being this all powerful tool that reveals more than anybody would have expected to just find a way to give glimpses and use it that way, similar to a friendship bracelet. Not that you automatically are going to become friends, but just
I’m comfortable enough that you can tell me some things, I’m also comfortable enough that you don’t have to tell me everything. And, I feel like in Wonder Woman’s life, she doesn’t get that situation. She really doesn’t. She doesn’t get the opportunity for things
to just happen at a pace that would make it, you know, Honestly, more enjoyable and more comfortable.
It’s always either solve it all in a crisis or just let it go because it’s not important and I don’t think that’s fair.
Anthony: I really like that friendship bracelet idea. That is, that’s amazing. I think the Swifties might come after you for that, but oh boy, sorry. As soon as you were talking to friendship bracelet, I was like Taylor Swift.
But no, seriously, that’s, that’s a wonderful thing. To just. Offer that little bit of honesty and emotional regulation without needing to be overwhelming and a full trauma dump, as it were. I think, I think that’s beautiful. Out of universe now,
I,
I think you’ve got somebody perhaps who may be, you know, regal, perhaps someone of royal blood who’s been kind of Cloistered away for a bit and, really wants to, to do good things, but struggles with the weight and the burden of responsibility. And as I’m talking aloud, I’m kind of realizing a bit of a parallel, particularly with the name, Diana, that I’m, I’m, I swear, I’m just making this up as I go along, but
yeah,
there is a, there is some similarities there.
Between Wonder Woman and Princess Diana. Certainly not. I’m not alleging at all that, Diana Spencer was this all wonderful, all good, all loving person. She certainly wasn’t without her own flaws, but just in that sense of, you know, very public figure, royalty, et cetera, et cetera.
Doc Issues: Yeah, I’m going to expand it a little bit.
Well, actually I’m going to do two things. I mean, this is like, we can do some entertainment in this podcast. So my family has actually been to the palace honoring Diana in London. So, you know, we got to learn a bit about that, see that now I’m not going to lie. I didn’t learn as much as I probably could have because a lot of it was just focused on the different dresses that she wore that were on display and things like that, and I really don’t care.
But I think you’re right. And that’s a good example, but I’m going to expand it because I’m sure there are some people that are like, Oh yes. Cause I want to compare my life to a princess.
The, the idea though, that, I think I alluded to it to begin with, I’m like, if, if you are the strong woman in your environment, if you are the strong man in your environment, I mean, you can, you can expand upon it, but the whole point is, You are the icon.
You are the person that people look to in certain ways. And as always, it’s who, you know, who heals the healers, who protects the protectors, who, who sorry for the comic reference, who watches the Watchmen, but I mean, just the idea that for whatever reason you are now or always have been that person.
And that can be ironically, a very lonely place to be. You’re dealing with that. A therapist would like to point out, as always, and I think Anthony has always said it very well, you can’t go from an empty cup. If your first notion is to always look to help others or look to sacrifice things about your time, your energy, your knowledge, your compassion, but you do it so much that you start to neglect yourself, that’s the first thing to notice.
The best thing you can do is to set the example because you’re actually in a position where people will, they’ve already been paying attention and they will more so if you do the basics right. If you get enough sleep, if you eat properly, if you exercise, if you take time for self care then yeah, you’re actually going to have a greater impact than you think doing that.
If you have means, whether that is Your position or your monetary availability. And you find a way to make that last, there’s a book I’m going to recommend. And actually I don’t agree with a lot of this book, but it, it does. It introduces, I think, a major premise that especially I’ll, I’ll kind of extrapolate to Western society.
Mostly. The book is named die with zero by Bill Perkins. The idea of it is not that. On your deathbed, you should spend your very last dollar before the check bounces or whatever. That’s not the point. The point is, plan out your life so that if you happen to be in a position of means, that you’re not just waiting to the very last minute and then making this charitable fund after you die.
It doesn’t just all have to be in a trust that Is going to be in perpetuity, which is a wonderful thing, not denying that, but you have so much opportunity while you’re alive, that you yourself can enjoy with people that you know and care about and causes that you want to help. The best way to do that, even financially, if you go net present value is to do it.
As soon as it’s feasible, not to just wait until the very end. If you have family members, you want to help them, help them. If you have causes you want to support, then support them. Don’t just, and this is for all of us, don’t just wait until December 30th when you realize you can get the tax deduction for that year, okay?
And by the way, everything I say, as always, I’m applying to myself, not just to you guys, okay?
It’s the idea that you should always show gratitude for what you have, but it’s even better to show gratitude for being able to do that. Give to those who don’t the idea that you’re giving of yourself in a way that other people don’t have the opportunity to is not very common. And so someone like that, we don’t. Get to see in that way nearly as much because in comics we look at the vigilantism, meaning we can go outside the law to use resources to do what we want.
And I’ll admit those are everybody’s favorite characters. Iron Man, Batman, you know, we get that. But the boring quote unquote boring part. Is things and turn the politics off people. Please understand what I’m saying is when you get the concept of a billionaire that is actually creating a foundation that wants to do things while they’re alive in ways that they, that no one else could simply because people can’t count that high in terms of what they can do.
And if you have someone from an ethics bound position, and therapist, who can make sure that things don’t go off the rails and we don’t end up with Hank Scorpio from The Simpsons, then it can actually be a wonderful thing. So yes, I know that Wonder Woman is about A powerful Amazonian woman learning how to thrive in a man’s world and trying to sustain a sense of independence and justice for everyone, despite the things you mentioned before, like sexism and racism and all those things.
And yes, those things still exist and the glass ceiling is real, but also saying you don’t have to do that all at once. You don’t have to do it all the time. And if you need to rest from that fight, you’re not a failure because there are a lot of people, both male and female, that sometimes get that, get to that point.
And if therapists could support them through that, then I think that might be the
Anthony: best thing for the planet. Beautiful. Beautifully said. So with the help of my wife’s cousin Eleni, let’s see what happens when we get Wonder Woman on Doctor Issues’ couch.
DOC: Hello Diana, although I should be calling you a more regal name,I’m Dr. Issues. I have done extensive research on your background because if you’re like any of the strong women in my life, you don’t suffer fools.
DIANA: I appreciate that. And yes, Diana is fine.
DOC: So, what can I do for you?
DIANA: As much research as you must have done, I’m sure you already have ideas.
DOC: I’m really laid back to start. I prefer my patients to dive in and set the tone.
DIANA: *unsure* That also sounds like a way to pad the hourly wage you make. No offense.
DOC: None taken. I’m getting the sense that you’re being courteous, but not exactly sold on the idea of opening up to me.
DIANA: Is that so surprising?
DOC: No, not at all. So, I have a proposition for you. Give me the lasso
DIANA: *flatly* excuse me…
DOC: *gulp* I’m not trying to use it! You’d crush me with your thumb alone. I’m saying…just…whatever, you know?
DIANA: *wry* Start off eloquently, end up a fumbling mess. Why am I not surprised? *serious* Here’s how it works. If I use it, then you won’t be able to hold back. You’ll be more vulnerable than you could fathom… ανοιχτό βιβλίο, an open book. Ever had that dream where you’re in your underwear in front of a class? Multiply that by a thousand fold.
DOC: *sigh* Yup, lay it on me.
DIANA: *lasso snap* Why are you doing this?
DOC: My only goal in life besides making sure the people I care about are taken care of, is to make sure that I don’t screw up too badly.
DIANA: That’s…not very reassuring.
DOC: I know. I have many points in my life where I get evil thoughts, and I never, EVER act on them. I get drained by talking to people, and yet I do it for a living. I never think I’m actually that good at anything. I wish that I were in some remote mountain range away from society at large so I can finally know solitude. But that is a fever dream. I love my friends. I love my family. I tried to push away everyone with my weirdness, and I STILL SCREWED IT UP BECAUSE THEY EMBRACED IT. The world is messed up, and so am I. So are you. So is everyone. But we can all be messed up in the right way.
DIANA: *pause* Soooo…I’m going to put this away now…you’re not exactly a marketer for yourself.
DOC: And I know that I can’t deal with things alone. I’m sure you understand. But that’s why therapists aren’t supposed to open with everything, because I don’t need to pass my wounds onto you. This…this may have been a mistake. I understand if you want to stop.
DIANA: No one ASKS for the lasso. You embraced it. That’s commendable.
DOC: What did it do when you tried it for yourself?
DIANA: I’m not sure what you mean. I can be bound, but…hmmm…
DOC: I’m not trying to imply that you are immune, just…like I said, maybe this was a mistake. I’ve dealt with immense power before, and sometimes it doesn’t work out the way I want it to, but I had boundaries. Forget the lasso, what is your ultimate truth about yourself?
DIANA: *earnest and thoughtful* I don’t know if I can answer that without compromising one core value for another. I’m willing to make sacrifices that no mortal could survive. All for justice. But if that’s true, then how could I subject a mortal to the same? So, that’s out. And those who survive with me…they have their own. I’m there when no one else will be. But once the situation has ended, who will be there for me? Trick question; I’m all that I ever need. But I choose not to believe that all of the time. I allow my vulnerabilities to become assets…wow, that doesn’t make sense when I say it out loud. What I’m getting at is, every part of my being must endure. For the good of everyone’s sake, that is what I know. And my life is only the richer if, at least some of the time, I can have those who understand by my side.
DOC: *stunned silence* It must have taken you years to come to that conclusion.
DIANA: Decades. Centuries, even.
DOC: And it doesn’t sound like you have any intention of slowing down
DIANA: Only if I want to, and not permanently.
DOC: You may want to enjoy the journey, not just the result
DIANA: Κάθε εμπόδιο για καλό. The next challenge is the next reward.
DOC: So do you enjoy the challenge itself, or just the reward?
DIANA: It may sound perverse, but…there have been times where I was in combat, and that’s all that mattered. I could sense everything about that moment. Glimpses of past experience guided my moves. Days of endurance compressed into a single blow. Fear was there somewhere, but so was gratitude. Peace, even. Then triumph, and a small portion of regret that I’ll never feel that again unless it’s demanded of me.
DOC: Wow, you hit heavy, and I don’t just mean the physical sense. I *beeping/buzzing noises*
DIANA: *suddenly confused* What is that…why is your wrist glowing? Are you some sort of demon?
DOC: Huh? Oh no no, that…uhh…it’s hard to explain, but my watch blinks and buzzes when I get an alert on my phone.
DIANA: *still confused* Your watch is under your skin?
DOC: Oh, um…well, I probably should rip this off *tearing sound* oowwwwww that hurt more than the instructions said. I put on a layer of biomaterial that matches my skin so the lasso’s effects would be dampened. I was worried I’d give out my social security number or something.
DIANA: *angry* YOU TRIED TO DEFY THE TRUTH?! λούγκρα!
DOC: NO! I…am an honest man to a fault. I just don’t want to be too embarrassed or weakened or something…look, it didn’t even work. Everything I said was true, and you can put it on again to make sure.
DIANA: *calm* No need; people have tried that before. Where did you get the idea for that anyway?
DOC: I’m not allowed to
DIANA: *interrupting* Bruce.
DOC: *pause* I’m still not allowed to say anything.
DIANA: You don’t hide your face well.
DOC: It’s the only way I can live with myself. I hope you understand.
DIANA: As with every man I meet, all I can do is try.
Anthony: So, biomaterial, huh?
Doc Issues: Basically, I found something that’s close to superglue without being superglue. And it still allowed for sweat and looked just like my regular skin. But if I didn’t put it all the way up to the top of my sleeve, it would have looked like a weird thing. But then I forgot I had my watch on.
And it just I didn’t really think this through,
okay? I was very intimidated.
Anthony: Clearly. Okay. Well, you survived. Not that I thought Diana was going to kill you, but
Doc Issues: yeah, it’s, you know what? And, and honestly, for everybody listening, this is something very true about me. You know how some people say they’re an open book or a closed book or whatever.
I consider myself neither. I’m a book. I’m a book on the shelf. You can read me at any point. Do I automatically volunteer things? Or if I’m not being spoken to, I won’t say a darn word. If you ask me something, you’ll get my answer. And you’ll probably get more than you wanted in the first place. Because it’s just all there, ready and available.
So, while it may have sounded weird for the skit, that really is how I am. And I think my father actually does the best impersonation of it. He basically says, you keep things like, totally tight lipped. And I say, it’s not tight lipped, no one asked me. He said, yeah, then why does it seem like you’re a cork that just popped off a champagne bottle?
Because it’s
always there.
Anthony: And being your brother for close to 30 years, I can attest to the veracity of everything that pop said, and then some. So love you, bro. Recommended reading is the the George Perez run. And the recent Wonder Woman Historia, Kelly Thompson got rave reviews. Absolutely fantastic artwork as well.
Just a good, solid encompassing story about. Diana and the rest of the Amazons. Upcoming episodes. Actually on our list and has been on our list for quite some time is Storm. So I know we talked to Murewa Ayodele about the Storm comic book, but we also wanted to do an episode on Storm, the character as, as a whole and getting into that.
So we are working on that. And then Shadow Man who just had a, a new book come out, a new mini series. Come out so you can check that out. And then man Wolf. So we’re just all over the place, man. We’ll a little, little after Halloween, but we’ll get John Jameson on the couch and see how hair raising things get.
As we said at the top of the show Derpycon October 26th. We will be doing a panel on discord. So please go to derpycon. com and register for tickets. If you’re in the area, we’ll have links in the show notes there. All of our episodes are on our website, capesonthecouch. com. We are proud members of the Gonna Geek Network, and you can check out some of the other fantastic shows at gonnageeknetwork.com. I know that Doc’s episode of Play Comics that he recorded a while ago will be coming out soon once Chris gets his computer up and running and back online, and then Doc and I will be recording a joint episode as well on a very fun game. I don’t want to give away the topic just yet.
I’ll let Chris talk about it on his show. But you can find us on social media. We are on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Tik ToK, and threads at capes on the couch. I’ve actually posted a couple of Tik ToK videos recently with some of my, my thoughts and rankings on the various Robins and the Green Lanterns.
So if if you’d like some hot takes, please go check them out there. And They said, you know, it’s, it’s good to be back. We’ll be doing this, more consistently. We’ve got some other creator episodes that we’re working on as well as a new sub series that we’ll be introducing soon this season.
I’m talking to some colleagues of ours. And then, you know, our 200th episode is coming up, our 200th formal episode, not including all the other additional ones, but our 200th regular episode. So we’ve got some We have some cool ideas planned for that one as well. So before we head out, Doc?
Doc Issues: So I don’t have any specific puns.
I’m just going to point something out. There is a song that I think of with Wonder Woman. And it has to do with a woman that initially was soft spoken and just thought they should keep their place. And then they develop the confidence to really speak their mind. And I, of course, am talking about, actually, I’m going to leave it up to you.
Am I talking about Roar or am I talking about Brave? Because they are both the same song, just with different lyrics, and they sound incredibly alike. And if anybody could actually determine that they weren’t like just collaborating and colluding to make the same song around the same time, I’d be very surprised.
Anthony: Well, I take Sara Bareilles over Katy Perry, six days a week and twice on Sundays. She’s a much better singer, songwriter, artist overall. Love Sara Bareilles.
Doc Issues: I understand that, I’m just saying, people, listen to both songs, play them simultaneously, just do it! It is an amazing experience because, it’s not just that they sound similar, I’m like how the hell do they have the exact same premise?
That is so weird to me. Who’s producer like just copied one off the other? I don’t know.
Anthony: Yeah, yeah, you and everybody else. Acknowledges that. So for Doc Issues, I’m Anthony Sytko. Thanks for listening. We’ll see you next time.