Issue 174 - Jonah Hex - Capes on the Couch

We travel back to the Old West to examine JONAH HEX! Is this scarred gunslinger really as fearsome as he looks? Listen in to find out!

Issue 174 – Jonah Hex

Intro
- PuchiCon appearance May 14th
Background (4:50)
- Jonah Hex created by John Albano and Tony DeZuinga in All-Star Western #10 (Feb-Mar 1972)
- Jonah Hex is born in 1838 to an alcoholic father who sold him at age 13 to Apaches as a slave
- He is betrayed by his adopted brother in the tribe and left to die – years later when he returns to the tribe, he reveals the betrayal – he is forced to battle his brother and kills him, and in response the chieftain scarred his face with a heated tomahawk and exiled him once again
- He then went off to serve as a bounty hunter
- Most of his stories stay in his own time period, but he has been brought forward in time a few times
- Lords of Time compile a team to battle the Justice League & Justice Society, including Jonah
- He was also incorporated into Crisis on Infinite Earths
- At one point, he gets kidnapped and brought to post-apocalyptic 21st century Seattle to fight for the man who kidnapped him, but he escaped and continued to rove the country looking for a way to return home
- Had several relationships with various women, including at least two marriages – the first one to Mei Ling ended when she became pregnant and ran off with the child, Jason, who wasn’t in Jonah’s life until he was an adult
- Second marriage was to a Native American woman named Tall Bird, later in his life – after he was killed by a man who survived a bounty hit, his corpse was sold and put on display several times until Tall Bird acquired it and gave him a proper burial

Issues – Theme is walking to the beat of your own broken drum (8:20)
- Abused by alcoholic father
- Betrayed by adopted brother in tribe (13:10)
- Didn’t really know Jason until he was an adult, and then Jonah wanted nothing to do with him (23:04)
Break (30:50)
- Plugs for Scotch n Sports, Play Comics, and Cullen Bunn
Treatment (32:26)
- In-universe – Pretend to be captured and take the opportunity to speak with him
- Out of universe –
Skit (40:06)
- Hello Jonah, I’m Dr. Issues. – Doc.
- I understand this can all be a bit overwhelming, so please feel free to say as much or as little as you need. – Yer right, s’a lot to take in, but I’ve been in bigger scrapes n’ this, I can get by.
- If you don’t mind my asking, how did you end up in this time anyway? – Truth told, I can’t recall. I’d just got done beatin’ the hell outta some horse’s ass come to town to cause trouble, went to a saloon to drink away the pain. Musta passed out, an’ when I woke up I was in a field. Took a walk to ask someone what happened, an’ come to find out I was in the future. Lucky for us, ain’t the first time I been in this now, but I ain’t never been in this HERE in this now. Best I can figure, someone either wants me here to fix somethin’, or they DON’T want me where I was so they can ruin it. Either way, I aim to find out what it is an’ go back home.
- That’s… an incredible story. – Pfft, Doc, if’n you knew half o’ the things I seen an’ done, you’d turn whiter n’ a preacher’s collar. An’ for you that’d be quite a feat.
- How vivid…*shudder* That’s not something I think I can help you with. Any hints about what you’re men to do? -Nope. Usually if it’s important whoever needs to get to me does it quick. These time folks ain’t about wastin’ it.
- But what about wasting yours? -Whaddaya mean?
- I mean, your time is as valuable to you as mine is to me. All of this jumping around and fighting for…for what? – I don’t get too attached to that.
- But do you have…um…fun? Relaxation? -*laughs* Fun? Man, you ever get yer jaw rattled before, right on the scar that can’t bleed but still hurts like hell?
- I’ve been punched, yeah, but not…where are you going with this? – I’m sayin’ that folks in my line of work don’t get cushy jobs, ain’t no vacation. If I get a night, or a woman…well, as you folks say work hard, play harder.
- Still quite the visualist. Um…how about lasting relationships? -I’ve had boots that can last me a lifetime. That’s about it.
- Family? -*pauses* Next question
- But -*interrupts* NEXT. QUESTION.
- Alright, Alright! Sheesh. Clearly a source of pain. Is that what gets you the most? -What gets me the most is nosey people trying to be cute and asking a question in a different way.
- Sharp man -Bout as sharp as this huntin’ knife I always have handy. Wanna see?
- *Gulp* I didn’t mean to -*changing tone* Naw man, I mean you want to look at this craftsmanship here? The serration is perfect. Easy to release the flesh on contact. Not as good as my usual blade, but better for survival stuff since I don’t have to fight right now. Skinnin’ carcasses for pelts. **Plus it scares the shit outta most folks lookin’ to start trouble.**
- Whoa, your whole demeanor changed. You’re…engaged? -What? I’ll never settle down like that, not agin’.
- No, I mean you’re showing interest in something and want me to listen. I didn’t expect that. -Well what the hell am I here for? I thought doctors like you listen to people. Now I wanna talk about this, and you wanna talk about my family. Just listen would ya? I don’t get to ever do this unless I gotta save someone’s hide.
- You…you lonely man. -*Yelling* STOP GETTING SOFT YA HEAR?
- Yes Sir! -Now if you want, I can set up some sort of training for you, because it’s obvious you’re no survivalist. If I gotta be stuck here until I get home, you need to be useful.
- Is this your way of bonding? -*Oblivious* Well I usually don’t have glue, so I just keep extra rope in my saddle bag. Comes in handy to keep bounties in check. But that kind of lesson comes with practice.
- You’re making this awkward, and we’re running out of time. -Shucks, we’re just getting started. But don’t worry. I’ll figure out a way to get you a decent six-shooter; those new fangled guns just don’t have the same grip. A man’s gotta learn to fend for himself, ya get me son?
- Don’t call me…oh wow. I don’t think you realize -*Interrupting, clearly dismissive* Well can’t keep talking like that, gotta find a place to hit the hay. I’ll make my way back to you, I’m sure of it. Just keep listening, I don’t get to be this much of a…sage to just anybody.
- I’ll listen again, and again, and again. But I can’t fill that void forever. -*flustered groan* Just as long as it’s on the job. Nothing else. Stay safe, ya hear?
Ending (44:53)
- Recommended reading: Jonah Hex v2 (Palmiotti series)
- Next episodes: Grandma Chainsaw 2, The Dog Knight w/ Jeremy Whitley & Bre Indigo, Adam Warlock
- Plugs for social & GonnaGeek Network
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