Issue 137 - Squirrel Girl - Capes on the Couch

Intro
- Thanks to new Mayor level Patron Matt (0:40)
Background (2:16)
- Squirrel Girl created by Will Murray and Steve Ditko in Marvel Super Heroes Vol. 2 #8 (Winter 1991)
- Doreen Green discovered at 10 years old she could communicate with squirrels, and also grew a prehensile tail
- At 14, attacks Iron Man in an attempt to impress him, and helps him defeat Doctor Doom (later revealed to be a Doombot, then an imposter, then the real thing #BecauseComics)
- Later joins the Great Lakes Avengers, where her squirrel sidekick Monkey Joe dies – he is replaced by Tippy-Toe
- Registers as a hero during Civil War, and it’s revealed she has a crush on Speedball/Penance, but she finds his new dark persona off-putting
- Serves as nanny to Danielle Cage, daughter of Luke Cage & Jessica Jones
- Enrolls in Empire State University as a college student majoring in computer science, where she and her roommate Nancy, along with their friends Chipmunk Hunk & Koi Boi work on balancing schoolwork, saving the world, and managing social lives

Issues (7:12)
- Jeanine: She’s incredibly powerful yet no one addresses it
- Positivity/giving people benefit of the doubt works against her often (18:20)
- Point of communication with community that’s under represented/doesn’t have a voice (30:46)
Break (37:53)
- Plugs for BetterHelp, Geek Peak Podcast, and Cullen Bunn
Treatment (39:35)
- In-universe – Bring the squirrels into therapy
- Out of universe – (42:44)
Skit (feat. Lisa from Comic Book Couples Counseling as Squirrel Girl) (50:38)
- DOC: Hello Squirrel Girl, I’m Dr. Issues.
- SQUIRREL GIRL: Oh I know who you are. I have your trading card!
- D: What?
- SG: Oh, Deadpool came up with trading cards for all kinds of heroes, villains, and other associated characters.
- D: But I’m not a-
- SG: Now that I’m seeing you in person, though, I think the artist didn’t capture your features well at all.
- D: I’m so confused…
- SG: Sorry, I know I’m throwing a lot at you. Let’s start over. Hi, I’m Doree-uh, Squirrel Girl.
- D: I know your name, but we can go with Squirrel Girl if you’d like.
- SG: How’d you discover that? My totally secret identity is totally a secret. Unless… CAN YOU TALK TO SQUIRRELS TOO?
- D: No, can’t say that I can. (Although I honestly haven’t tried…) Anyway, I’m not supposed to be the focus of an encounter. How can I help you?
- SG: Can I get an autograph?
- D: *pause* You are really taking this trading card thing to heart, huh?
- SG: Is that a yes?
- D: Short answer, no. Longer answer, only if you actually discuss something that is worth being in a psychiatrist’s office for besides giving off fangirl vibes.
- SG: Well, aren’t you a party pooper! Ok then, help me deal with squirrels.
- D: I…uh…well, I would need to know a little about their…personalities? Is there some sort of baseline compatible with humans and the type of sentience I’d be used to?
- SG: They’re way more capable of bridging the gap between humanity and squirreldom than you think! They can be as moody and petty and impulsive as anyone you’ve ever treated. I’m sure of that.
- D: I usually see you pictured with one squirrel, though. Obviously you have favorites. Pets are certainly a part of the family.
- SG: Do you consider your child to be a pet, then?
- D: Well…no. I can see how my wording can make things sound awkward. I’m sure to make plenty of mistakes.
- SG: So that part of the card is true!
- D: *flustered* Does that card say anything GOOD about me?
- SG: I thought you weren’t going to talk about yourself.
- D: Only because you brought it up again! So…back to it. You’re close to squirrels. How does that compare to humans around you?
- SG: Not bad. Actually, I think I can relate to just about anything that wants to talk.
- D: That’s wonderful! Do you have an example?
- SG: I was nice to Galactus so he didn’t eat the Earth.
- D: You…you saved all of us from something that could eradicate us with hunger, all by being nice to him? You shooed away an omnipotent being? You defeated multiple villains with an army of creatures the average person ignores or actively tries to avoid. Life…doesn’t usually work out that way.
- SG: It does for me. Are you calling me a liar?
- D: No! In fact, you may be the most honest patient I’ve had in a while. But that’s not something I can help you improve. What’s something that you consider to be a weakness?
- SG: Sometimes, I think I’m too nice.
- D: I’ve definitely heard that before. You don’t want to give too much of yourself to others, and leave little time for yourself. What would you say is the ideal balance for you?
- SG: Maybe stereotypical, but how about 50/50.
- D: 50/50…of what? There’s more than 2 sides to a person’s life.
- SG: Not necessarily. Half for me, half for everyone else.
- D: *truly stunned* I mean, spiritual, physical, family and friends, vocational…you’re telling me that it all comes down to 50/50?
- SG: Yup. Works for me. Works for my teammates. It probably doesn’t work for enemies, but that’s why I win!
- D: I don’t want to lose track of you saying you’re TOO nice. And yet, you’re giving me an amazing, elegant schema for which you view life. What’s off kilter?
- SG: I babysit too much.
- D: So…don’t do it as much?
- SG: *genuine surprise* Really? That makes so much sense! Then I would have more time to do other things! Wow. I needed to hear that. Thank you so much!
- D: *clearly thinks this is sarcasm* You don’t have to bait me into thinking-
- SG: *interrupting* Sometimes it just takes a professional like you to remind a regular old superbeing like me about the little things. That intelligence rating on your card is spot on!
- D: Wait…what? I’m considered intelligent? At what rank?
- SG: Ooooh, nice try, but I learned my lesson. You don’t want to talk about yourself or that silly card.
- D: But I thought you wanted me to sign it.
- SG: Hmm… I suppose it would add to the value. Although we don’t have any way to verify the signature, and CGC is backed up like CRAZY these days… fine, here you go.
- D: *signing sound* And now that I have it, lemme take a look… A THREE?!?! THAT’S IT?!?!
- SG: It’s out of 7, so it’s not as bad as it sounds.
- D: YOU’RE NOT HELPING.
- SG:I’m only a three too. So is Captain America.
- D: I’m…with…him…but he’s the very essence of what a hero is supposed to be. I gushed to him…oops!
- SG: I KNEW IT! You’re just like all of us, and yet, you still help everyone you see. We’re not so different.
- D: Except you have squirrel powers.
- SG: Are you going to keep saying that?
- D: As long as you keep saying I’m just like you.
- SG: Then how can you bridge the gap between people who can’t see the common stuff?
- D: *pause* You just summarized my whole life’s goal to make sure I stayed on track. I’m dumbfounded. How about this: I try to understand more about critter characterization, and you…just keep being you, except stick to a basic question I can answer like before.
- SG: It’s a deal! I’ll bring Tippy-Toe along next time, and I’ll translate for you.
- D: OK. So should I bring nuts for him-
- SG: Her. And we’ll bring our own. She’s very particular. No offense.
- D: Understood.
Ending (57:33)
- Thanks to Lisa – check out Comic Book Couples Counseling podcast
- Recommended reading: Unbeatable Squirrel Girl
- Next episodes: Wiccan, Donna Troy, Homelander
- Plugs for social