Issue 175 - Adam Warlock - Capes on the Couch

It’s our 175th episode, and just before Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 drops we cover Space Jesus HIMself, Adam Warlock!

Intro
- GotG v3 comes out Friday
- Reminder of PuchiCon panel
Background (3:08)
- Adam Warlock created by Stan Lee & Jack Kirby in Fantastic Four #66-67 (Sept.-Oct. 1967)
- Originally named Him, he was a genetically engineered human who rebelled against his creators, the Enclave
- High Evolutionary names him Warlock and gives him the Soul Gem, and a group of teenagers he encounters call him Adam
- He encounters the Universal Church of Truth, run by Magus – he learns Magus is an alternate version of himself from the future, so he kills another future version of himself to prevent the Magus from existing
- During these adventures, he allies himself with Gamora, Pip the Troll, and even Thanos at one point – after Thanos turns on them with the Infinity Gems, Adam is captured inside the Soul Gem, but temporarily escapes to defeat Thanos
- Infinity Gauntlet – Adam and other Marvel heroes band together to defeat Thanos, and Adam ends up with the Gauntlet – charged by the Living Tribunal to separate the stones, he gives one each to Gamora, Pip, Drax, Moondragon, and a reformed Thanos
- Before he gave up the gauntlet, he separated his good and evil sides, creating the Goddess and the Magus, which triggers Infinity War and Infinity Crusade
- Later joins the new version of the Guardians of the Galaxy following Annihilation: Conquest
- He becomes Magus once again, but is killed and resurrected
- The new reincarnated Warlock is sought out by Annihilus to power a reality-destroying weapon, which succeeds – Warlock’s essence appeals to the One-Above-All, who recreates the world and restores things to where they were
- Decapitated by Gamora, who was on the hunt for the Infinity Gems to reclaim a portion of herself lost inside the Soul Gem – resurrected yet again, and after reality was restored he gave the Gems sentience and sent them off to fend for themselves, meaning he no longer controls the Soul Gem

Issues (Theme is the Uncanny Valley of Human Perfection) (9:11)
- Genetically created to be the perfect human – he is among them but not of them
- Purges self of emotion, which creates the Magus and the Goddess (17:13)
- Worshiped by Universal Church of Truth, which he discovered is run by Magus (21:30)
Break (33:52)
- Plugs for Bedknobs & Broomflicks, Ignorance was Bliss, and Meredith Finch
Treatment (35:06)
- In-universe – Ponder idea of who God prays to in order to find alternative options
- Out of universe – Patients who focus on the world writ large instead of their own personal issues (38:43)
Skit (42:15)
- Hello Adam, I’m Dr. Issues. – Good day, Doctor.
- So what can I do for you today? -You are a mental health professional, correct?
- Yes. -Good. Then analyze my thoughts.
- Um…okay. -*starts abruptly* I often give strong consideration to how the universe could be a better place. There are so many things that trouble me. I try to create safeguards so nothing gets out of hand, but that doesn’t work in a vacuum.
- I can’t imagine it would. So -*interrupting* Indeed. I figured delegating to others would limit any consolidation of power, but it just made the subsequent problems unpredictable.
- Perhaps you should take a more active role then -But when I do that I get accused of being too heavy handed.
- Heavy is the head that wears the crown -*deadpan* No I meant heavy handed because it was a gauntlet.Anyway, where was I? Oh, right the whole destruction of existence as we know it. I ponder how to best manage the combination of allies and enemies without angering too many people at once. So far I have yet to determine the exact balance to make everyone happy. If failure is the mother of success, then I have spawned innumerable children.
- It sounds like you have plenty of experience. What have you learned along the way? -To avoid yes men. You seem like the type of person to intentionally make people uncomfortable for your own amusement, so I figured you could prevent me from aligning with sycophants.
- I…I…thaaanks? I don’t quite know what to make of that.-I’m sure you’ll understand more as you learn more about me. Or you’ll go insane yourself from dealing with the power of the cosmos for too long if I stick around. Either way, you’ll be serving a good purpose. Were you available to an earlier me at another time, you may have been considered for a spot on the Infinity Watch.
- I’m not sure this is practical…for you, or for me. I’m not as philosophical as you may think. At least, not on a regular basis. -Who’s being philosophical? I’m war room planning with you.
- That sounds grandiose. -No, it’s not. I still have a fragment of the vision stone. If you wish to understand further, I’ll show you. *insert whatever sound effects*
- *pause* Nothing in my training or experience will EVER prepare me for the type of stuff that patients like you put me through. What is my role in all of this…madness? Death? Destruction? Is this predicting -No, this is what’s happening somewhere at sometime and I’m trying to gather my thoughts so the damage is limited.
- I get it, I get it. No offense…or take offense, I don’t care…Why are you on my couch when you could, oh I don’t know…DO ANYTHING TO END THIS? -Your frustration is noted. But you may be familiar with “measure twice, cut once”
- Then measure quicker. -Well, I have the idea that if I segment my focus on
- *Interrupting* STOP. No more segregating, or delegating, or pondering, or calculating, or plotting, or scheming, or idealizing. Do it yourself. It doesn’t have to be perfect. People will get hurt, perhaps on a massive scale. But for someone so idealistic about what the perfect answer should be, you let it all get in the way of imperfect action that can be improved upon later. -Your dramatic presentation is overstated, but appreciated. But be forewarned, anything I do beyond this session will have dire consequences
- *simultaneously as last word* Consequences on the universe as we know it yadda yadda yadda. If I blink out of existence I’m sure you or one of your compatriots will find some way to reset everything…and even if they don’t I wouldn’t be around to know about it anyway. How can I be more comfortable about this stuff than you are? -Your reputation as flippant precedes you…
- It’s uncommon for me to encounter someone that gets lost in the weeds more than I do. You manage to lose yourself in it. -I don’t agree with that. I know for a fact that without my intervention, none of us would exist. If I don’t take care, the next time that happens I won’t be able to do it again.
- Are you even listening to yourself? How am I supposed to help you if you’re mixing a predetermined outcome with a nihilistic future unless we thread the needle? I’m not exactly the best sounding board for that kind of stuff because I’m too optimistic of a pessimist….great, now I’m not making sense. -Don’t fret. If you learn to channel your inner existential god then you’ll be just fine.
- *totally snaps* That’s it. I’m done. I’ve had it. You’re too heady for me. I’ve dealt with immortal beings, unstoppable monsters, ageless domineering psychopaths…you sir, are beyond what I can comprehend. I’m just going to sit back, take some deep breaths, and watch as all of existence unfolds in the time it takes for you to explain how I’m supposed to help you in just one session. -Are you done?
- Yes. -Good. Then in your incessant whining I did manage to formulate a proposal to the living tribunal about the value of your practice on a galactic level.
- *pause* come again? -Your honesty and humility in the face of overwhelming odds are still an asset whether you accept them or not. I’m no fool. You know of my rivals, I’m sure of it, even if you can’t divulge such wisdom…and as you said, you persevered. Don’t think that this session is the end…it is just the beginning. Any diagnosis you have for me, will likely be different than what you would have for…others like me.
- *exasperated* Are you trying to tell me that I just got roped into some sort of…Infinity Clinic?! -If that suits your tastes. From what I understand, you will be made invulnerable during said sessions, so you don’t have to concern yourself with retribution. But it only lasts for the session itself, and is at the whims of He who is above all.
- I guess I can’t say no to that, huh? – No.
- Then…I guess good luck with saving everyone again and make sure to bring your journal with you so I can understand whatever it is that happens. I just wish I were less professional so I could bring some popcorn. – If you like I can will some to appear for y-
- No, no, no need. Let’s just… keep it above board. – As you wish.
Ending
- Recommended reading: Warlock & the Infinity Watch, Infinity Gauntlet
- Next episodes: Sam Alexander, Galactus, Richard Rider
- Plugs for social & GonnaGeek Network